Praise Jesus for big, fat, huge, miracles! Amber Lia and Wendy Speake wrote a book together called Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses. If there is one area in my life that I am the least happy with, it’s my parenting skills. I am perfectly fine with one child and most of the time, I can handle two of them together. When I get all three of my kids together in my small house and they are bickering and someone is hurt and there’s milk all over my floor, and there’s an obnoxious toy going off for the 15th time, I just can’t hold it in any longer. I let all that nastiness spew right out of my mouth and all over my sweet little babies. I know not all of it is their fault and they aren’t trying to push my buttons (all the time anyway), but I just can’t stop the volcano. Once it erupts it just keeps going and going, pushing over anyone and everyone in it’s way. I’ve tried so many methods of changing their behavior, changing my behavior, trying to explain more and yell less, and having conversations with them about what my triggers are (and they know!), but none of it made a lasting impact on my home.
I am completely and totally convinced that this book reaching my inbox was a God-send. For once, I have a resource of Godly inspiration (something I’ve been searching for for a few years now), written by women who have been there and who don’t judge me for the absurd things coming out of my mouth and affecting my children. I know that they are afraid of me and I hate it. I want to change that, and I’m the only one who can.
Would you join me on a short look through this book? I’m going to be also using these posts as a journal to record thoughts, feelings, reactions and how things have changed in my home. I’d love for you to join me if you’d need help as well.
Chapter One – Disobedience
It’s very strange to me how just hearing the word disobedience can make my heart rate kick up a few notches. I really don’t think that there is a more universal theme of parents across the board than the fact that their kids don’t do what they are asked.
Amber is writing this chapter and she gives an example of a mentor running along-side a troubled teen in a running test and how she coached her through it to the finish line. I hope that I’m not the only Mom that wonders why we can be so harsh with our own kids, but we would never be that way with someone else’s. And I would never allow someone else to speak to my kids the way I do, so why is it ok for me? If my voice is going to be their “inner voice” for the rest of their lives, I definitely do NOT want them to remember me screaming at them!
The other piece of this chapter that really touches me is about my own disobedience (something I’ve been struggling with for a long time). It says that God doesn’t beat you over the head with punishment and condemnation. “He reminds us to go and sin no more. And then leaves us to it.” If we get off-course, He rejoices when we repent and ask for his forgiveness. I don’t know about you, but that’s the farthest thing from my mind when I’m angry and feel disrespected because my kids are not obeying, again. But, that’s what we are called to do as daughters of the Great I Am. We are supposed to bring Christ into our homes. Man, I need some more of that.
If you have thoughts, I’d love to hear them!
Good night and God Bless.